Too Soonjokes

The Iran war is on Day 238. It's lasted longer than every New Year's resolution, every Kardashian marriage and every Bachelor couple combined.

Iran's foreign minister posted on X that the sanctions are "a rehash of a failed strategy." He posted it on a platform banned in Iran, from a country that can't export oil, in a language most of his citizens can't read online. Every part of that sentence is a strategy.

The U.S. has a "blockade" in Hormuz. We're blockading the strait that we're mad Iran is blockading. It's beef between two guys who both parked in the fire lane.

Trump wants a "lasting" peace with Iran. He's said that about every marriage too.

Day 217 of the Iran war. At this point the war has outlasted three iPhone colors, two Fast & Furious sequels and every New Year's resolution in America.

Iran offered a 7-day plan to reopen Hormuz. Trump rejected it. Nobody wants a week-long deal from a guy who can't even commit to a week-long trial subscription.