Too Soonjokes

Trump is weighing direct strikes on the Houthis. The Houthis have been bombed by every president since Obama and they're still going. They're basically the Rolling Stones of getting bombed.

JD Vance declined to endorse Netanyahu, saying he "doesn't get involved in foreign elections." Bro, you went to Munich and lectured Germany.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

Trump says Ilhan Omar "could go to jail." He says that about everyone who doesn't laugh at his jokes.

Trump told Zelenskyy to "find someone else to negotiate." Trump just ghosted an entire country.

Trump wants to meet Putin and Xi about denuclearization. Three guys with the most nukes in a room talking about getting rid of nukes. That's an AA meeting at a liquor store.