The Philippines issued an arrest warrant for its Vice President for threatening to have the President killed. In America we call that a primary.

AI deepfakes are everywhere now. The president says any bad video of him is fake and any good one is real. That's not a defense, that's a mood ring.

Blue, the sculpture at the Kennedy Center, came down after seven years. Trump chairs the Kennedy Center now. He's redecorating a building named after a Democrat, in a city that voted 92% against him, and the sculpture was the first thing to leave that didn't need a lawyer.

The President threatened to report a news anchor to the FCC. Somewhere a 1950s censor felt a disturbance in the force.

A late-night host got pulled off the air for a monologue. The government said it was about "standards." Standards, in a country where the president has a podcast voice.

The president marked 9/11 with a steel beam from the World Trade Center at a ceremony near the White House. The beam has been to more solemn events than most of the people standing next to it.

Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.

Carney says Canada "won't be bullied." Trump says Canada should be the 51st state. Canada responded with a tariff on Kentucky bourbon, which means Mitch McConnell has finally been sanctioned by a foreign government.

The president told the UN that climate change is a hoax and escalators are broken. One of those was a policy position and one was a complaint about the building. Nobody could tell which.

The DOJ was about to sue Live Nation and the White House stepped in. The service fee on that phone call was $38.

Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president has offered the country a bribe in front of it, on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.

The president says he's "not in a hurry" to negotiate with Iran. He's right. Hurry is for people whose house is under the flight path.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

Thirty-three House Republicans skipped their own convention and the president spoke for 104 minutes anyway. It's a wedding where the groom's side didn't show and the bride read the vows to the caterer.

The president threatened to report a news anchor to the FCC. Somewhere a 1950s censor felt a disturbance in the force.

Six months of war and the president still won't say what winning looks like. The last three wars didn't have an answer either. That's not a strategy, that's a family tradition.

Toronto took the World Series to Game 7 and lost. It's the closest Canada has come to winning something in the US since 1812, and they burned the White House that time.

Trump called the Iran war "small potatoes" and "not a big thing." Six months, thousands dead, gas at $5. If that's small potatoes, the man's never bought groceries, which we knew.

Trump says the war ends "immediately after the election" and gas stays high till November because Iran wants to sway the vote. So the war has a release date and the troops don't.

The US now controls 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, eight months after grabbing the president. Marco Rubio called it "a partnership." So is a payday loan.

Thirty-three House Republicans skipped their own convention and the president spoke for 104 minutes anyway. It's a wedding where the groom's side didn't show and the bride read the vows to the caterer.

Trump says the US has "essentially" taken over Iran. Essentially is the word you use when you've taken over the part of Iran that's on fire.

The Rose Garden got paved and the East Wing got bulldozed. The White House is now the only historic building in America being flipped.

Day 200 of the war is Sunday. Two hundred days. The Pentagon has a name for every tanker it's sunk, the president has a date for when it ends, and the troops have a magnet on their mom's car that's faded to pink.

The DOJ was about to sue Live Nation and the White House stepped in. The service fee on that phone call was $38.

Trump put a 50% tariff on Canada and Canada hit back. The two countries share the longest peaceful border in the world, and now it has a service fee.

The Supreme Court cleared the White House ballroom. Nine justices, zero invitations.

The president said he'd report a journalist to the FCC. The FCC's chairman, Brendan Carr, has spent a year saying the FCC should do more. This is the first time a president has threatened to send a man to the one guy who was already waiting.

The Presidents Cup: 24 golfers, zero presidents, and a trophy named after a job with a ten percent assassination rate.

JD Vance said he doesn't consider the Iran war a war. Trump brushed him off. The vice president got overruled on the definition of the thing he'd be running if the president tripped. That's the job.

Brown University says the war has cost the average household $780 in extra fuel. CNBC says it's made the president up to $4.4 million on oil stocks. That's not a conflict of interest, that's a business model with casualties.

Day 196. The president says the war ends "immediately after the election." The troops don't have an election. They have a deployment, a hip, and a magnet on their mom's car that's faded to pink.

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

A fake photo of Robert De Niro in a Trump shirt went viral. AI can fabricate a celebrity's politics in seconds. Celebrities did it for free for decades.

The 25th anniversary was Friday. A wreath, a beam at the White House, a war in the same time zone, and a president who now remembers being carried out by firefighters. Never forget. Selectively remember.

Twenty-five years, and the president says two firefighters carried him from the rubble. Footage shows him on TV that morning. The last man who wasn't there has the most detailed memory, and the men who were there have the shortest life expectancy.

Trump promised $5,000 to every adult. Gas has cost the average family $780 extra this year. So the deal is: give us four more years of the war, and we'll refund six of them.

The war "ends after the election," the president says. So does the price of gas, apparently. Everything in America now has a November expiration date except the debt, the war dead, and the guy who said it.

Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president offered the country a bribe on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.

Trump offered every adult $5,000 to vote right, then went golfing in Ireland. The check clears after the election. The golf clears now.

Trump said the war ends after the election because Iran "can't hold out." Iran's been holding out since 1979. That's 47 years of holding out. The one thing Iran has more of than oil is patience, and we just hit its coast.

Trump asked the Supreme Court to give states access to a federal database to check voters. The database is called SAVE. The only thing it's ever saved is a Republican consultant's invoice.

Three American service members were killed in March and the war is "not a big thing." Their families would like the president to define "thing."

"The war ends immediately after the election," the president said, then flew to Ireland. So the war has a release date, the troops have a deployment, and the president has a tee time. Three schedules. One of them's fun.

Fetterman said he'll work with Trump to "defend the steel way of life." The steel mill behind him was sold to a Japanese company last year. He's defending a way of life that already got a work visa.

Trump said two firefighters lifted him up and carried him away at Ground Zero. Footage shows he was watching TV that morning. Twenty-five years later, the last man who wasn't there has the most detailed memory.

Trump spoke for an hour and 44 minutes at the convention. The Gettysburg Address was two minutes. He's now spoken longer than Lincoln, Kennedy, and the entire Iran war strategy combined.

Trump met Ireland's president and prime minister between rounds of golf. Ireland has survived famine, empire, and the Catholic Church. It'll survive a weekend of being told the course is the best in the world.

Trump made $4.4 million on oil stocks since the war started, according to CNBC. He also said the war ends after the election. So the man who profits from the war has set the date it ends, and it's the day after he doesn't need it.

The president said Iran is "desperate to affect the election." Iran has 20 missiles that hit sand. The only thing they've affected is the price of the sand.

Trump's $5,000 election dividend costs $1.3 trillion. The Iran war has cost $95 billion. So the plan is: win the war, sell the peace, pay the voters, bill the kids. It's a mafia movie where everyone gets whacked by compound interest.

Bessent's bond buyback, Trump's dividend, and the Iran war. Three men in the same building spending the same money three different ways, and none of them are yours, except that they are.