Too Soonjokes

Fourth of July, 250th edition. Fireworks in a drought, hot dogs at tariff prices, and a war overseas. The founders would recognize all of it.

Historic drought in Oregon. The state that won't let you pump your own gas now can't find water for the fire. Somebody's still going to be told to wait in the car.

Hurricane Lowell went Category 5, then 4, then 5. It's got the commitment issues of a man whose wedding is at Madison Square Garden.

America celebrated 250 years with a war, a tariff fight, and fireworks in a drought. The Founders would be proud. Mostly of the fireworks.

Ten inches of rain expected on Kauai. The good news is the chickens can finally leave.

The president told the UN that climate change is a hoax and escalators are broken. One of those was a policy position and one was a complaint about the building. Nobody could tell which.