Too Soonjokes

Zverev beat Shelton for the US Open and didn't know he'd won; he walked back to the baseline to return serve. He ended America's 23-year drought-extension and needed the scoreboard to tell him. Germany: efficient, punctual, unaware of the mood in the room.

Fourth of July, 250th edition. Fireworks in a drought, hot dogs at tariff prices, and a war overseas. The founders would recognize all of it.

Historic drought in Oregon. The state that won't let you pump your own gas now can't find water for the fire. Somebody's still going to be told to wait in the car.

Zverev won the US Open and didn't know he'd won; he walked back to the baseline to return serve. He ended a 23-year American drought-extension and needed the scoreboard to tell him. Germany: efficient, punctual, and unaware of the mood in the room.

The UAE nominated someone for UN Secretary-General. Next year's UN climate summit will be held on a yacht.

Hurricane Lowell went Category 5, then 4, then 5. It's got the commitment issues of a man whose wedding is at Madison Square Garden.