Too Soonjokes

The DOJ was about to sue Live Nation and the White House stepped in. The service fee on that phone call was $38.

The Supreme Court tossed the White House's mail-voting restrictions four days after a $5,000-if-you-vote-right offer went out on Fox. So the Court says mail your ballot, and the White House says there's a check in the mail if you fill it out correctly. The Post Office is the only branch that has to touch both.

Trump wants to meet Putin and Xi about denuclearization. Three guys with the most nukes in a room talking about getting rid of nukes. That's an AA meeting at a liquor store.

China paused October fuel exports and the White House is begging France and Germany for diesel. America went from "drill baby drill" to "can we borrow a cup of diesel."

The Supreme Court tossed the mail-voting restrictions the same week a $5,000-if-you-vote-right offer went out on Fox. So the Court says mail your ballot and the White House says there's a check in the mail if you get it right. The Post Office has to touch both.

The White House barred several left-leaning news outlets from the briefing room this week. The president says the press is free. It is. It's just outside, on the lawn, next to where the East Wing used to be.