Too Soonjokes

The president threatened to report a news anchor to the FCC. Somewhere a 1950s censor felt a disturbance in the force.

The president said he'd report a journalist to the FCC. The FCC's chairman, Brendan Carr, has spent a year saying the FCC should do more. This is the first time a president has threatened to send a man to the one guy who was already waiting.

Reporters got barred from the White House the same month the president threatened to report an anchor to the FCC. The First Amendment is still in the Constitution. It's in a time capsule under Philadelphia, sealed until 2126.

The Philippines issued an arrest warrant for its Vice President for threatening to have the President killed. In America we call that a primary.

Trump is weighing direct strikes on the Houthis. The Houthis have been bombed by every president since Obama and they're still going. They're basically the Rolling Stones of getting bombed.

After FlyDubai, the airline added a new safety announcement: "In the event of geopolitics, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting the President."