Too Soonjokes

Two earthquakes hit Venezuela and killed 2,000 people. Within two months, America had a deal for 65 billion barrels of their oil. We sent thoughts, prayers, and a drilling schedule.

China's parade showed off hypersonic missiles, underwater drones, and robot wolves. America responded with a strongly worded tariff.

Venezuela: president captured in January, earthquake in June, oil in August. That's not a country anymore. That's a quarterly report.

America this week: rejecting peace plans, begging France for diesel, and watching baseball on Peacock. A superpower in its "it's complicated" era.

China paused October fuel exports and the White House is begging France and Germany for diesel. America went from "drill baby drill" to "can we borrow a cup of diesel."

The Philippines issued an arrest warrant for its Vice President for threatening to have the President killed. In America we call that a primary.