Too Soonjokes

CES in January had a robot for everything: a robot that folds laundry, a robot that walks the dog, a robot that listens to your problems. None of them pay rent, so they're just roommates.

We put a 50% tariff on Canada and Canada retaliated. Nobody noticed, because the retaliation was a strongly worded apology.

Carney says Canada "won't be bullied." Trump says Canada should be the 51st state. Canada responded with a tariff on Kentucky bourbon, which means Mitch McConnell has finally been sanctioned by a foreign government.

The Treasury warned foreign banks they'd lose access to America if they dealt with Tehran. The Pentagon has missiles. The Treasury has a letter. Both are threatening the same guy's cousin.

A 50% tariff on Canada and Canada answered with a list. The longest peaceful border on earth now has a service fee. From Detroit, that's a tax on the view.

Fifty percent tariffs on Canada. Mark Carney retaliated, politely. Canada's tariff list includes bourbon, motorcycles, and Florida oranges. So they're hitting Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Florida. It's the most targeted thing Canada's done since the 1972 Summit Series, and this time the puck is a tax.