Too Soonjokes

A Russian strike on Kyiv killed 13 overnight. Peace talks are ongoing. They've been ongoing for four years, which is long enough for "ongoing" to be a cause of death.

Israel bombed a meeting in Qatar where negotiators were discussing a ceasefire. It's hard to negotiate peace when the other side RSVPs with a jet.

Another round of Ukraine peace talks. Four years, six plans, one guy in the middle who keeps saying "we're close." The war has more sequels than Fast & Furious and the same amount of plot.

Trump meets Xi next week and China is urging both the U.S. and Iran back to the table. The country that buys Iran's oil and sells us the phones is now the mediator. It's a divorce where the marriage counselor is also the landlord.

The Emirates left OPEC after 58 years. The oil cartel is now the Saudis and a group chat, which is also the Middle East peace process.

The administration also wants to strip Ilhan Omar of her citizenship. Most dramatic "go back where you came from" in history: hiring lawyers.