Too Soonjokes

A Russian strike on Kyiv killed 13 overnight. Peace talks are ongoing. They've been ongoing for four years, which is long enough for "ongoing" to be a cause of death.

Israel bombed a meeting in Qatar where negotiators were discussing a ceasefire. It's hard to negotiate peace when the other side RSVPs with a jet.

Another round of Ukraine peace talks. Four years, six plans, one guy in the middle who keeps saying "we're close." The war has more sequels than Fast & Furious and the same amount of plot.

The Emirates left OPEC after 58 years. The oil cartel is now the Saudis and a group chat, which is also the Middle East peace process.

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.