Too Soonjokes

The NYT reports a billionaire got a pardon weeks after his family company gave Alina Habba a $50 million job. Justice isn't blind, she's just looking at her Venmo.

Christmas 2025: gifts up 15% from tariffs, a shutdown hangover, and a Netflix login that now includes CNN. Peace on earth was not on sale.

Madonna leads the VMAs at 68. MTV hasn't played a video since 2008. The product's dead and the ceremony continues, which is the plan for the census, the Senate, and most marriages.

Trump meets Xi next week and China is urging both the U.S. and Iran back to the table. The country that buys Iran's oil and sells us the phones is now the mediator. It's a divorce where the marriage counselor is also the landlord.

The last twelve months: a shutdown, an invasion, a war, a trillionaire, a heist, a wedding, three hurricanes, and a robot dog. If you wrote it as a novel, the editor would say "too much." If you lived it, you'd say "at least the Knicks won."

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.