Too Soonjokes

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.

A Russian strike killed thirteen in Kyiv overnight while the peace plan sits at 28 points. None of them is "stop."

America turned 250 and buried a time capsule with documents from all three branches of government. Someone in 2126 will dig it up and find three branches that couldn't agree on what to put in a box.

Ben Shelton beat Alcaraz at 3:30 in the morning, the latest finish in US Open history. Twenty-three thousand people watched the sun come up at a tennis match and took the 7 train to work. That's not a tournament, that's a shift.

The Pentagon released another boat-strike video. Three dead, no evidence of drugs, and a caption that says "narco-terrorists." At this point the label is the evidence. 230 people have died of a caption.

Russia hit a Ukrainian weapons depot and killed 38. The peace plan has 28 points. None of them are "stop."