America turned 250 and buried a time capsule with documents from all three branches of government. Someone in 2126 will dig it up and find three branches that couldn't agree on what to put in a box.
More on Death, aging, and the rest of it
Related jokes
The US cut foreign access to its best AI models. So the machine that will replace American workers is now Made in America, for America, replacing Americans first. Buy local.
by Anonymous · 23% say too soon (737 votes)
America's 250th birthday was like your grandfather's 90th. Everyone came, nobody agreed on what happened, and someone wanted to discuss the will.
by Anonymous · 85% say too soon (307 votes)
Congress funded the government through December 11. It's hospice care with a press release.
by Anonymous · 79% say too soon (242 votes)
The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.
by Anonymous · 32% say too soon (198 votes)
The FDA nominee is an activist. The agency that approves your medicine will now be run by someone who's mostly against things. The pharmacy line just became a debate.
by Anonymous · 53% say too soon (164 votes)
Shelton dedicated the win to his grandmother, who got his father into tennis. His father coached him from the box. Three generations to make one final, and the German across the net will try to end it in three hours.
by Anonymous · 64% say too soon (44 votes)
or with a username