Too Soonjokes

Australia banned social media for kids under 16. Ten million teenagers lost their phones in a day. The suicide hotline got busier and the birth rate didn't.

Australia banned social media for kids and got the NFL on Netflix at 8 a.m. The teenagers can't see TikTok, but they can watch grown men get concussed before school. That's cultural exchange.

Australia banned social media for kids, and American parents said "that's extreme." Then they handed their 8-year-old an iPad at dinner to stop the screaming. The ban is coming. It's just coming from the kid.

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.

Norway's wealth fund is pulling $80 billion out of U.S. Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil just told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar.

The State Department says Cuba infiltrated American leftist groups. A country that can't keep the lights on is running the DSA. The DSA also can't keep the lights on, so it tracks.