Too Soonjokes

We put a 50% tariff on Canada and Canada retaliated. Nobody noticed, because the retaliation was a strongly worded apology.

A 50% tariff on Canada and Canada answered with a list. The longest peaceful border on earth now has a service fee. From Detroit, that's a tax on the view.

David Harbour won a Creative Arts Emmy. Stranger Things ended, the kids are 30, and Hopper got a trophy. Somewhere in Hawkins a Demogorgon is filing for unemployment.

Health costs up the most in 23 years. The Health Secretary's response was a video of himself doing pull-ups. Great. The deductible does pull-ups too. It's up to 5,000.

Fifty percent tariffs on Canada. Mark Carney retaliated, politely. Canada's tariff list includes bourbon, motorcycles, and Florida oranges. So they're hitting Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Florida. It's the most targeted thing Canada's done since the 1972 Summit Series, and this time the puck is a tax.

Tariffs on Canada. From Detroit, the Ambassador Bridge now charges a toll, a tariff, and the emotional cost of explaining to Windsor why.