Too Soonjokes

The Pitt leads the Emmys with 25 nominations. It's a show about an ER where nobody gets paid enough and everyone dies on a schedule. The Academy loves a documentary.

Sinners got 16 nominations and won four. It's about vampires in Mississippi. Hollywood finally made a movie about the South's actual history.

Entertainment this week: a phone that folds, a song that rhymes with itself, a documentary about a man who wouldn't sit for it, and a sequel to a movie about killing your boyfriend. It's not a slate, it's a support group.

Practical Magic 2 and a Resident Evil reboot open the same weekend. A movie about witches who kill husbands and a movie about a virus that kills everyone. They call that counterprogramming. In Michigan we call it Thanksgiving.

Netflix bought Warner Bros. and the Batman rights. The Dark Knight will now be recommended to you next to a Norwegian baking show and a documentary about a cult.

A $130 million sequel about witches opens the same week as the anniversary of the day the country stopped believing in luck. Warner Bros. is owned by Netflix now. The curse will be recommended to you next to a documentary about a cult. It already is a cult, it's just called a franchise.