Too Soonjokes

Blue, the sculpture at the Kennedy Center, came down after seven years. Trump chairs the Kennedy Center now. He's redecorating a building named after a Democrat, in a city that voted 92% against him, and the sculpture was the first thing to leave that didn't need a lawyer.

Shelton is the first Black American man in a US Open final since Arthur Ashe in 1972, in a stadium named after Arthur Ashe. It took 54 years for the building to see someone it was named for. The Lions have been waiting since 1957, and they don't even have a building named after anybody.

Iran seized a $2.5 million American underwater drone. The maker says it's "attritable," which is contractor for "already billed." That's the most honest word in this war, and it was in a press release.

Paramount tried a hostile bid for Warner Bros. after Netflix's deal. Two studios fighting over a third. It's the only franchise Hollywood still knows how to make.

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

The Houthis seized Mokha, the port city coffee is named after, and now sit on two of the world's four oil chokepoints. A militia in sandals outmaneuvered three navies. Your $7 latte has a security council briefing.