Too Soonjokes

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

China paused October fuel exports and the White House is begging France and Germany for diesel. America went from "drill baby drill" to "can we borrow a cup of diesel."

The president says he's "not in a hurry" to negotiate with Iran. He's right. Hurry is for people whose house is under the flight path.

The Senate has 47 Democrats and they need 51. That's the most hopeful Democrats have been since they had a pulse.

Nobody's seen Iran's Supreme Leader in months, nobody likes Congress, and the Brewers are in the World Series. 2026: the year everyone's invisible except Milwaukee.

Ken Paxton and James Talarico are basically tied in Texas. A seminarian versus a guy who's been impeached. Texas is choosing between heaven and the Texas Senate.