Too Soonjokes

Blue, the sculpture at the Kennedy Center, came down after seven years. Trump chairs the Kennedy Center now. He's redecorating a building named after a Democrat, in a city that voted 92% against him, and the sculpture was the first thing to leave that didn't need a lawyer.

Shelton is the first Black American man in a US Open final since Arthur Ashe in 1972, in a stadium named after Arthur Ashe. It took 54 years for the building to see someone it was named for. The Lions have been waiting since 1957, and they don't even have a building named after anybody.

Trump made $4.4 million on oil stocks since the war started, according to CNBC. He also said the war ends after the election. So the man who profits from the war has set the date it ends, and it's the day after he doesn't need it.

The US now controls 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, eight months after grabbing the president. Marco Rubio called it "a partnership." So is a payday loan.

The president marked 9/11 with a steel beam from the World Trade Center at a ceremony near the White House. The beam has been to more solemn events than most of the people standing next to it.

The President threatened to report a news anchor to the FCC. Somewhere a 1950s censor felt a disturbance in the force.