Too Soonjokes

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

Uber launched robotaxis in London. Dara Khosrowshahi said it's "the future of mobility." The future of mobility is a car with no driver in a city with no parking, charging a surge fee to a man with no job.

A robot car in a city of roundabouts. It'll circle for three hours, which is the closest a machine has come to a British commute.

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

There's a Sam Altman biopic and a four-hour Musk documentary in the same month. Hollywood ran out of villains it could name and started with the ones who could sue.

Microsoft wants 38 gigawatts of data centers. Michigan uses ten. They're building four Michigans of electricity so Copilot can misspell your name faster.