Too Soonjokes

Tariffs on Canada. From Detroit, the Ambassador Bridge now charges a toll, a tariff, and the emotional cost of explaining to Windsor why.

The Lions open the season as contenders. For 60 years Detroit fans said "this is our year." This year it might be, which is the most dangerous thing that's ever happened to them.

Lions, Sunday, Ford Field, favorites. Sixty years of "this is our year" and a stadium tax. Detroit fans aren't optimistic, they're conditioned. Pavlov had a dog. Detroit has a season ticket.

The Lions' running back is the consensus number one fantasy pick. Detroit finally has something people fight over that isn't a parking spot.

A regular-season NFL game in Australia at 8 a.m. their time. Fans in Melbourne will watch football before work. Fans in Detroit will watch it at 4 a.m. and call in sick, which is a Michigan tradition older than the Lions' last title.

A 50% tariff on Canada and Canada answered with a list. The longest peaceful border on earth now has a service fee. From Detroit, that's a tax on the view.