Too Soonjokes

Kauai cleared the campgrounds. The guy who refuses to leave will be found in April, still mad about the parking fee.

Hurricane Lowell went Category 5, then 4, then 5. It's got the commitment issues of a man whose wedding is at Madison Square Garden.

Fourth of July, 250th edition. Fireworks in a drought, hot dogs at tariff prices, and a war overseas. The founders would recognize all of it.

The president told the UN that climate change is a hoax and escalators are broken. One of those was a policy position and one was a complaint about the building. Nobody could tell which.

The Grand Canyon flooded. Took six million years to dig and one afternoon to fill.

The Northwest is having a historic drought and a historic wildfire season at once. The weather finally figured out synergy.