Number 2 Oregon nearly lost to Boise State. The Ducks are second in the nation and first in "we'll discuss it at the funeral of the season."
More on College football, Death, aging, and the rest of it
Related jokes
Dan Lanning's Oregon nearly lost to Boise State. The Ducks are number 2. Boise's field is blue, the Ducks' faces were red, and Lanning's seat is the one color in between.
by Anonymous · 53% say too soon (76 votes)
Apple glasses will monitor your health. The first notification will be "Screen time: 14 hours." The second will be "Your family is in the other room."
by Anonymous · 59% say too soon (323 votes)
Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president has offered the country a bribe in front of it, on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.
by Anonymous · 38% say too soon (152 votes)
Trump says the Iran war will end "very soon, probably right after the midterms." First war in history with a campaign schedule. Shock and awe, then get out the vote.
by Anonymous · 21% say too soon (1596 votes)
The US cut foreign access to its best AI models. So the machine that will replace American workers is now Made in America, for America, replacing Americans first. Buy local.
by Anonymous · 23% say too soon (737 votes)
America's 250th birthday was like your grandfather's 90th. Everyone came, nobody agreed on what happened, and someone wanted to discuss the will.
by Anonymous · 85% say too soon (307 votes)
or with a username