Too Soonjokes

Tupac's killer was convicted in Las Vegas after 30 years. He'd been telling the story on camera for a decade. Vegas finally found the one guy who didn't understand what happens in Vegas.

A jury finally convicted Duane "Keffe D" Davis for Tupac's murder, thirty years later. He'd confessed on a podcast, in a book, and on YouTube. The man was indicted by his own content strategy.

The man convicted of orchestrating Tupac's murder is the uncle of the shooter, who died in 1998. So the case was solved by everyone else dying first. That's the Vegas method.

They tore down the East Wing for a ballroom and the Supreme Court said fine. So the building has a dance floor now and no First Lady's office. That's a divorce settlement, not a renovation.

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

A senator sued 700 patients and had 81 arrested over medical debt before running for office. In Kansas that's not a scandal, that's a resume. He listed it under "leadership."