Too Soonjokes

A wedding at Madison Square Garden. Nothing says forever like a venue that's hosted 400 farewell tours.

The last twelve months: a shutdown, an invasion, a war, a trillionaire, a heist, a wedding, three hurricanes, and a robot dog. If you wrote it as a novel, the editor would say "too much." If you lived it, you'd say "at least the Knicks won."

Hurricane Melissa hit Jamaica as a Category 5. The strongest storm ever to land there. The forecasters had a category for it and the island didn't.

Half of America watched a wedding they weren't invited to and cried. The other half watched their own wedding video and did the same thing for the opposite reason.

Lowell is a Category 5 one hour and a 4 the next. It's a drunk deciding whether to drive home. Either way, somebody's roof is leaving.

Thirty-three House Republicans skipped their own convention and the president spoke for 104 minutes anyway. It's a wedding where the groom's side didn't show and the bride read the vows to the caterer.