Too Soonjokes

The Philippines issued an arrest warrant for its Vice President for threatening to have the President killed. In America we call that a primary.

Thirty-three House Republicans skipped their own convention and the president spoke for 104 minutes anyway. It's a wedding where the groom's side didn't show and the bride read the vows to the caterer.

Thirty-three House Republicans skipped their own convention and the president spoke for 104 minutes anyway. It's a wedding where the groom's side didn't show and the bride read the vows to the caterer.

JD Vance said he doesn't consider the Iran war a war. Trump brushed him off. The vice president got overruled on the definition of the thing he'd be running if the president tripped. That's the job.

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.