Too Soonjokes

Goldman Sachs says oil could go higher if the tanker attacks continue. Goldman Sachs also owns the tankers, the insurance on the tankers, and the fund that bet on the tankers. They call it "analysis." The rest of us call it a receipt.

Tankers are idling outside Hormuz. The world's most expensive drive-thru line, and it still doesn't take Apple Pay.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.

Iran is telling all ships in the Gulf "not to be deceived" by the US Navy. The US Navy has 11 aircraft carriers. It's hard to be deceived by something you can see from space.

CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.

CENTCOM sank five tankers in one night and posted the video. Day 196. The Pentagon can name every ship it's sunk and can't name the goal.