Too Soonjokes

Twenty-five years after 9/11, the airport still makes you take off your shoes, and the country's at war in the same neighborhood. Never forget. We didn't. We just didn't learn either.

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

Friday, September 11, 2026: twenty-five years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a quarterback carted off six plays into a title defense, a kid who beat the best player alive at 3:30 a.m., and a hundred thousand Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. What time's the tennis.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

Twenty-five years since 9/11, and the TSA is restoring gate access for people without tickets. It took a quarter century to let Grandma back to the gate. Your shoes still come off.

Practical Magic 2 is out. The curse still says every man the witches love dies. After 28 years the curse is the only thing in the franchise with a complete arc. Same as most marriages.