Too Soonjokes

Haaretz reports the UAE warned Netanyahu of a major Hamas operation ten days before October 7 and he didn't act. It was the most accurate intelligence anyone in the region ever ignored, and it took three years to become a headline.

A three-year-old was killed in Gaza the same week the ceasefire was called "holding." Holding is what you say about something you're about to drop.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

Saudi Arabia shut down a pipeline "as a precaution" after an attack. The country with the most oil on earth just turned off the tap to stay safe. Your gas station heard about it before you did and adjusted accordingly.

A family of four killed in Gaza the week officials called the ceasefire "holding." Holding is the word for something you're about to drop, and they've been dropping it since October.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.