Too Soonjokes

The Michael Jackson biopic made $600 million. It covers his early career and stops right before the part everyone paid to see.

The Michael Jackson biopic is the second highest-grossing music biopic ever. The highest is about Freddie Mercury. Hollywood has learned that the audience wants a genius and a tragedy, and will pay extra if it's the same guy.

I Love Lucy is getting the first Emmy Legacy Award, 75 years after it aired. Lucille Ball was 40 when the show started and Hollywood considered her finished. She outlived the studio, the network's original owners, and every man who said no. That's the legacy. The statue's a formality.

Netflix bought Warner Bros. in December. Paramount tried to steal it in the spring. A judge blocked it in August. Three companies fought over one studio all year and nobody made a movie.

There's a Sam Altman biopic and a four-hour Musk documentary in the same month. Hollywood ran out of villains it could name and started with the ones who could sue.

The Emmys are Sunday, hosted by Mariska Hargitay, the first woman to host in fifteen years. She's played a sex crimes detective for 27 seasons. Finally, someone with the right resume for a Hollywood awards show.