Too Soonjokes

Southwest Airlines mocked Luke Bryan's song in the comments. The airline that loses your bag, cancels your flight, and charges for a seat has opinions about lazy work. That's not a burn, that's a confession with a boarding group.

Bad Bunny did the halftime show in Spanish. Forty million Americans discovered they could be angry at a language for 13 minutes and still know every word by the end.

The Seahawks beat the Patriots 29-13 and the halftime show was in Spanish. Half of Texas learned three words and the other half wrote to the FCC.

Morgan Wallen is up for Artist of the Year for the second year. He was canceled in 2021 for the worst thing you can say, then had the biggest album in the country. The lesson every artist learned is the one the country already knew: the audience forgives, the algorithm never remembered.

Apple's $2,000 folding phone, a $130 million witch movie, a 38-date Oasis tour with a waitlist, and a $5,000 vote bonus. Everything this month is on a payment plan except the war, and that's on your grandkids' plan.

Madonna's been nominated for VMAs in every decade of her career. Five decades. She's outlasted MTV playing music, the record label, two husbands, and the Catholic Church's patience. The award's a formality. The survival's the act.