Bad Bunny did the halftime show in Spanish. Forty million Americans discovered they could be angry at a language for 13 minutes and still know every word by the end.

The Seahawks beat the Patriots 29-13 and the halftime show was in Spanish. Half of Texas learned three words and the other half wrote to the FCC.

Apple's $2,000 folding phone, a $130 million witch movie, a 38-date Oasis tour with a waitlist, and a $5,000 vote bonus. Everything this month is on a payment plan except the war, and that's on your grandkids' plan.

Madonna's been nominated for VMAs in every decade of her career. Five decades. She's outlasted MTV playing music, the record label, two husbands, and the Catholic Church's patience. The award's a formality. The survival's the act.

NFL kickoff is Thursday. Roger Goodell makes $64 million a year and the league has a gambling scandal, a concussion settlement, and a halftime show that's a culture war. He's the only commissioner who's been booed by more people than the referees, and he's never once thrown a flag.

Madonna leads the VMAs at 68. MTV hasn't played a video since 2008. The product's dead and the ceremony continues, which is the plan for the census, the Senate, and most marriages.

Morgan Wallen is up for Artist of the Year for the second year. He was canceled in 2021 for the worst thing you can say, then had the biggest album in the country. The lesson every artist learned is the one the country already knew: the audience forgives, the algorithm never remembered.

The VMAs are in Los Angeles for the first time since 2017. They moved it from New York to a city where every nominee already has a house, a stalker, and a publicist named after a Greek god.

Awards season is here: the Emmys Monday, the VMAs on the 27th, Venice this week, Toronto next. Four months of rich people thanking God for the thing their agent negotiated. God has never once been in the room, but He's always thanked, like a landlord.

Southwest Airlines mocked Luke Bryan's song in the comments. The airline that lost your bag, canceled your flight, and charges for a seat assignment has opinions about lazy work. That's not a burn, that's a confession.

Fan voting for the VMAs is open until the 25th. Millions of people who won't vote in November will vote for Video of the Year. Democracy works fine; it's just aimed at the wrong ballot.

The Emmys, the VMAs, Venice, Toronto, and the Oscars campaign all start the same month. Four months of the same 200 people in different rooms thanking each other. The rest of us call that a family reunion. They call it a season.

Southwest Airlines mocked Luke Bryan's song in the comments. The airline that loses your bag, cancels your flight, and charges for a seat has opinions about lazy work. That's not a burn, that's a confession with a boarding group.