A Resident Evil reboot opens next week. The seventh movie in a franchise about a corporation that unleashes a virus and lies about it. The audience has lived through the sequel; the ticket's just closure.
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A Resident Evil reboot next week: the seventh film about a corporation that unleashes a virus and lies about it. In 2020 it was horror. In 2026 it's the safety briefing.
by Anonymous · 64% say too soon (33 votes)
The Resident Evil reboot is the seventh film about a corporation that unleashes a virus and lies. In 2020 it was a horror movie. In 2026 it's the safety video.
by Anonymous · 50% say too soon (20 votes)
Sinners got 16 nominations and won four. It's about vampires in Mississippi. Hollywood finally made a movie about the South's actual history.
by Anonymous · 70% say too soon (135 votes)
A $130 million sequel to a 1998 movie about witches opens against a Resident Evil reboot next week. Witches versus zombies. Two franchises about women who won't die and men who should.
by Anonymous · 75% say too soon (16 votes)
Practical Magic 2 and a Resident Evil reboot open the same weekend. A movie about witches who kill husbands and a movie about a virus that kills everyone. They call that counterprogramming. In Michigan we call it Thanksgiving.
by Anonymous · 38% say too soon (16 votes)
A $130 million sequel about witches opens the same week as the anniversary of the day the country stopped believing in luck. Warner Bros. is owned by Netflix now. The curse will be recommended to you next to a documentary about a cult. It already is a cult, it's just called a franchise.
by Anonymous · 61% say too soon (46 votes)
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