Too Soonjokes

New York Fashion Week runs through the 15th. Nine-thousand-dollar coats walking past a million apartments under a rent freeze. The coats have more square footage than the studios and better heat.

Fashion Week ends Monday. Nine-thousand-dollar coats walked past a million rent-frozen apartments all week. The coats have more square footage than the studios and better heat.

Practical Magic 2 opened today, 28 years after the first one, about two witches whose men keep dying. The Emmys are Monday. Fashion Week is through the 15th. The country's on fire in four time zones, and Hollywood's offering witches, a red carpet, and a $12,000 coat. That's not escapism, that's a closing argument.

A socialist won New York. The billionaires threatened to leave, and the city's response was a rent freeze on a million apartments. That's not a policy, that's a taunt.

Hurricane Lowell went Category 5, then 4, then 5. It's got the commitment issues of a man whose wedding is at Madison Square Garden.

Christmas in a tariff year: the kids got fewer toys, the toys cost more, and Santa's supply chain runs through Shenzhen. The elves are on a work visa.