Too Soonjokes

The Supreme Court says states can restrict mail voting. The Post Office says it might reject batches. And the president says the mail is rigged. The only thing in America that all three branches agree on is that your letter's not getting there.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

Newsom's $787 million defamation suit against Fox goes to trial in March 2028. That's 18 months from now. By then Newsom will be running for president and Fox will have a new lie ready for the trial coverage.

Newsom's $787 million suit against Fox goes to trial in March 2028. By then he'll be running for president and Fox will have a fresh lie ready for the trial coverage.

Day 196. The president says the war ends "immediately after the election." The troops don't have an election. They have a deployment, a hip, and a magnet on their mom's car that's faded to pink.

The war "ends after the election," the president says. So does the price of gas, apparently. Everything in America now has a November expiration date except the debt, the war dead, and the guy who said it.