The census won't ask about sexual orientation anymore. It'll still ask how many toilets you have. The government has decided your plumbing is more important than your marriage, which is also what your plumber thinks.
More on Elections and voting, Family and marriage
Related jokes
The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.
by Anonymous · 32% say too soon (198 votes)
The 2030 census will skip immigrants without green cards and stop asking about race. The government's plan for people it doesn't like is to stop counting them. It's how a man handles his bank statements the week before the divorce.
by Anonymous · 30% say too soon (27 votes)
Madonna leads the VMAs at 68. MTV hasn't played a video since 2008. The product's dead and the ceremony continues, which is the plan for the census, the Senate, and most marriages.
by Anonymous · 33% say too soon (45 votes)
Bitcoin dropped 40%. The people who called it "digital gold" are now calling it "a long-term play," which is what you say about a marriage after the affair.
by Anonymous · 55% say too soon (926 votes)
The 2030 census won't count undocumented immigrants or ask about race. The government's plan for people it doesn't like is to stop counting them. Try that with your cholesterol.
by Anonymous · 56% say too soon (66 votes)
Congress is arguing about a bill to end child marriage. Somewhere a lobbyist is being paid to explain the other side. Say that out loud.
by Anonymous · 79% say too soon (100 votes)
or with a username