Detroit hosts the Saints Sunday. The Tigers are in a race, Michigan needed a blown call to beat a MAC school, and the Lions are favorites. The state's blood pressure is now a public health category, and the cure is a Coney at 1 a.m.
More on Detroit Lions, Detroit and Michigan, NFL, Baseball
Related jokes
The Lions open at home Sunday and the whole state is pretending it's calm. Michigan football needed a bad call to beat a MAC team, the Tigers are in a race, and Detroit's collective blood pressure is now a public health category.
by Anonymous · 28% say too soon (43 votes)
The Lions open Sunday as Super Bowl favorites. Detroit has never had hope survive October. This is the year it finds out what hope costs. Spoiler: last year's price, plus a stadium tax, plus interest, plus a Coney at 1 a.m.
by Anonymous · 21% say too soon (81 votes)
The Lions open Sunday as Super Bowl favorites in some books. Detroit has never had hope survive October. This year it'll find out what hope costs. Spoiler: the same as last year, plus a stadium tax and interest.
by Anonymous · 61% say too soon (36 votes)
The Tigers are in a September race and the Lions are favorites. The last time Detroit had this much September hope, the auto industry was about to need a bailout. Somebody check on Ford.
by Anonymous · 82% say too soon (11 votes)
A regular-season NFL game in Australia at 8 a.m. their time. Fans in Melbourne will watch football before work. Fans in Detroit will watch it at 4 a.m. and call in sick, which is a Michigan tradition older than the Lions' last title.
by Anonymous · 31% say too soon (100 votes)
Lions, Sunday, Ford Field, favorites. Sixty years of "this is our year" and a stadium tax. Detroit fans aren't optimistic, they're conditioned. Pavlov had a dog. Detroit has a season ticket.
by Anonymous · 41% say too soon (51 votes)
or with a username