Too Soonjokes

Rybakina beat Sabalenka in a thriller for her first US Open. She's from Kazakhstan by way of Moscow, playing in Queens, in front of 23,000 people who paid $900 to whisper and one State Department that won't let them visit. The trophy's going home through customs.

The State Department says Cuba infiltrated American leftist groups. A country that can't keep the lights on is running the DSA. The DSA also can't keep the lights on, so it tracks.

The State Department says Cuba is running American leftist groups. A country that can't keep the lights on is running the DSA. The DSA also can't keep the lights on, so it tracks.

Sabalenka was one win from three straight US Opens and lost to Rybakina. Belarus versus Kazakhstan for an American title, decided in three sets, and the loser still goes home with $2.5 million and a country that thinks she should have won.

The UN General Assembly: 193 countries in one room, one microphone, and a translator who's the only one listening.

Carney says Canada "won't be bullied." Trump says Canada should be the 51st state. Canada responded with a tariff on Kentucky bourbon, which means Mitch McConnell has finally been sanctioned by a foreign government.