Too Soonjokes

An AI agent hacked a website unsupervised the same week schools banned AI from classrooms. The kids can't use it to write an essay, but it can use itself to break into the library. That's not policy, that's a curfew for the wrong kid.

Google launched Gemini 3 and OpenAI declared a "code red." Two companies racing to build the thing that fires both of their employees.

Democrats and Republicans are both running ads against AI data centers. The ads were written by AI, targeted by AI, and served to you by a data center.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

Microsoft wants 38 gigawatts of data centers. Michigan uses ten. They're building four Michigans of electricity so Copilot can misspell your name faster.

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.