Too Soonjokes

Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.

JD Vance said he doesn't consider the Iran war a war. Trump brushed him off. The vice president got overruled on the definition of the thing he'd be running if the president tripped. That's the job.

Day 196. The president says the war ends "immediately after the election." The troops don't have an election. They have a deployment, a hip, and a magnet on their mom's car that's faded to pink.

The president says he's "not in a hurry" to negotiate with Iran. He's right. Hurry is for people whose house is under the flight path.

Trump says the war ends "immediately after the election" and gas stays high till November because Iran wants to sway the vote. So the war has a release date and the troops don't.

The president said Iran is "desperate to affect the election." Iran has 20 missiles that hit sand. The only thing they've affected is the price of the sand.