Too Soonjokes

Trump said the war ends after the election because Iran "can't hold out." Iran's been holding out since 1979. That's 47 years of holding out. The one thing Iran has more of than oil is patience, and we just hit its coast.

Trump says the Iran war will end "very soon, probably right after the midterms." First war in history with a campaign schedule. Shock and awe, then get out the vote.

The war "ends after the election," the president says. So does the price of gas, apparently. Everything in America now has a November expiration date except the debt, the war dead, and the guy who said it.

Trump says Russia "had very little input" into Iran. Strange, since Russia usually has input into everything, including our elections.

Day 196. The president says the war ends "immediately after the election." The troops don't have an election. They have a deployment, a hip, and a magnet on their mom's car that's faded to pink.

"The war ends immediately after the election," the president said, then flew to Ireland. So the war has a release date, the troops have a deployment, and the president has a tee time. Three schedules. One of them's fun.