Too Soonjokes

Tankers are idling outside Hormuz. The world's most expensive drive-thru line, and it still doesn't take Apple Pay.

Widow's Bay won 14 Emmys, the most ever for a comedy. It's a horror comedy on Apple TV. Television gave its all-time record to a show about the dead, streamed by a company selling a $2,000 phone. The industry finally found its genre.

Apple's folding phone starts at $2,000. For that money in Detroit you get a Buick, and the Buick also folds if you hit a pole.

Cybersecurity people have AI burnout defending hospitals. When the hospital gets ransomwared, the AI will write a very moving obituary.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

Every AI company promised to cure cancer. So far they've cured customer service, entry-level jobs, and the ability to know if a photo is real. Cancer's next, they say. Cancer says the same thing.