Too Soonjokes

Trump's approval is at 36 percent, an all-time low. That's lower than Spirit Airlines, gas station sushi and my uncle at Thanksgiving.

Trump called the Iran war "small potatoes" and "not a big thing." Six months, thousands dead, gas at $5. If that's small potatoes, the man's never bought groceries, which we knew.

Carney says Canada "won't be bullied." Trump says Canada should be the 51st state. Canada responded with a tariff on Kentucky bourbon, which means Mitch McConnell has finally been sanctioned by a foreign government.

China paused October fuel exports and the White House is begging France and Germany for diesel. America went from "drill baby drill" to "can we borrow a cup of diesel."

Trump says the war ends "immediately after the election" and gas stays high till November because Iran wants to sway the vote. So the war has a release date and the troops don't.

Trump put a 50% tariff on Canada and Canada hit back. The two countries share the longest peaceful border in the world, and now it has a service fee.