Too Soonjokes

The Iran war is on Day 238. It's lasted longer than every New Year's resolution, every Kardashian marriage and every Bachelor couple combined.

Apple glasses will monitor your health. The first notification will be "Screen time: 14 hours." The second will be "Your family is in the other room."

Humanoid robots are being sold for home use. They'll cook, clean, and carry things. So they'll replace the husband, and unlike the husband, they come with a return policy.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

Every AI company promised to cure cancer. So far they've cured customer service, entry-level jobs, and the ability to know if a photo is real. Cancer's next, they say. Cancer says the same thing.

SpaceX is worth $1.77 trillion. The company that wants to leave the planet finally got the money to do it, and the rest of us are the security deposit.