Too Soonjokes

Police departments are buying drones now. Robot dogs for ICE, drones for cops. The next police union negotiation will be about charging cables.

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

Robot dogs at the border. The Secretary who ordered them wrote a book about shooting her actual dog. This is the first time a K-9 unit has ever needed a bodyguard.

Two American citizens shot by federal agents in Minnesota in January. The response was a task force, a statement, and a robot dog order by August. Progress.

CES in January had a robot for everything: a robot that folds laundry, a robot that walks the dog, a robot that listens to your problems. None of them pay rent, so they're just roommates.

The census won't count undocumented immigrants in 2030. So the government's solution to 11 million people is to stop looking. That's also how it handles the deficit, the climate, and the giraffe.