A 50% tariff on Canada and Canada answered with a list. The longest peaceful border on earth now has a service fee. From Detroit, that's a tax on the view.

Twentieth death in an ICE facility this year. They're calling it self-deportation.

The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.

Twenty deaths in ICE custody this year. The agency calls them "in-custody incidents." The families call them by their names, which is more than the paperwork does.

A glacier collapsed and took a valley with it. Ice, it turns out, has a deadline. Congress might want to look into that.

A judge paused the border wall at Big Bend. The canyon was already doing the job for free.

ICE is buying robot dogs. The real dogs kept refusing to bite the people who fed them.

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

A judge approved surgically force-feeding a hunger striker in ICE custody. The private facility gets paid per body per day. Keeping him alive isn't mercy, it's a line item, signed at 2 a.m.

Robot dogs at the border. The Secretary who ordered them wrote a book about shooting her actual dog. This is the first time a K-9 unit has ever needed a bodyguard.

Trump put a 50% tariff on Canada and Canada hit back. The two countries share the longest peaceful border in the world, and now it has a service fee.

A judge paused the border wall at Big Bend National Park. The canyon was already doing the job for free and it doesn't take contractors.

Two American citizens shot by federal agents in Minnesota in January. The response was a task force, a statement, and a robot dog order by August. Progress.

The Winter Olympics in Milan and Cortina. Two weeks of people sliding down ice on purpose, which in Michigan is just called February.

The border wall got paused in one park and funded everywhere else. It's the only construction project in America that's simultaneously stopped and over budget.

The 2030 census won't count undocumented immigrants or ask about race. The government's plan for people it doesn't like is to stop counting them. Try that with your cholesterol.

Police departments are buying drones now. Robot dogs for ICE, drones for cops. The next police union negotiation will be about charging cables.

The twentieth death in an ICE jail this year. That's more than the number of days Congress has spent on it, combined.

The Guardian found ICE force-feeding a man on a hunger strike; the census found a way to stop counting people; the Treasury found nobody wants its bonds; and the Seahawks found their quarterback in a CT machine. The theme of the week is discovery. None of it good.

A judge approved surgically force-feeding a hunger striker in ICE custody. The private detention center gets paid per body per day. Keeping him alive isn't mercy, it's revenue, and the judge signed it at 2 a.m.

ICE got a judge to approve force-feeding a hunger striker through a surgical procedure without his consent. He's the 19th hunger striker in custody. The agency that can't find a giraffe found a judge at 2 a.m.

The 2030 census will skip immigrants without green cards and stop asking about race. The government's plan for people it doesn't like is to stop counting them. It's how a man handles his bank statements the week before the divorce.

The census won't count undocumented immigrants in 2030. So the government's solution to 11 million people is to stop looking. That's also how it handles the deficit, the climate, and the giraffe.

The last twelve months: a shutdown, an invasion, a war, a trillionaire, a heist, a wedding, three hurricanes, and a robot dog. If you wrote it as a novel, the editor would say "too much." If you lived it, you'd say "at least the Knicks won."

Postal worker dumps 30,000 letters. Census stops counting immigrants. TSA lets you back to the gate. The government is a guy cleaning his garage by throwing things over the fence and calling it organized.