Longest shutdown in history. Air traffic controllers worked for free while Congress debated whose fault it was, from an airport lounge, on a flight that was late.
More on Congress
Related jokes
This Congress holds the record for the longest shutdown in history and they're all up for re-election. Democracy is a dog that keeps eating the chocolate.
by Anonymous · 37% say too soon (192 votes)
The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.
by Anonymous · 35% say too soon (186 votes)
The president says he's "not in a hurry" to negotiate with Iran. He's right. Hurry is for people whose house is under the flight path.
by Anonymous · 62% say too soon (141 votes)
Congress funded the government through December 11. It's hospice care with a press release.
by Anonymous · 79% say too soon (242 votes)
A glacier collapsed and took a valley with it. Ice, it turns out, has a deadline. Congress might want to look into that.
by Anonymous · 22% say too soon (162 votes)
They told pregnant women not to take Tylenol. The same week, a bill passed to keep Congress's health plan exactly as it was. Tough it out, ladies.
by Anonymous · 61% say too soon (152 votes)
or with a username