Too Soonjokes

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

A glacier collapsed in the Himalayas and the flood killed 900 people. Scientists warned about this for 20 years. Turns out the glacier read the report and we didn't.

The UK is sending Typhoon jets to defend Saudi Arabia. Britain hasn't been this involved in the Middle East since they drew the borders with a crayon.

China paused October fuel exports and the White House is begging France and Germany for diesel. America went from "drill baby drill" to "can we borrow a cup of diesel."

The twentieth death in an ICE jail this year. That's more than the number of days Congress has spent on it, combined.

The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.