Too Soonjokes

America turned 250 and buried a time capsule with documents from all three branches of government. Someone in 2126 will dig it up and find three branches that couldn't agree on what to put in a box.

Thieves cut four paintings out of their frames in a museum heist that took minutes, a year after the Louvre lost the crown jewels in eight. Europe's museums are now the only places where the exit is faster than the entrance.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

Haaretz reports the UAE warned Netanyahu of a major Hamas operation ten days before October 7 and he didn't act. It was the most accurate intelligence anyone in the region ever ignored, and it took three years to become a headline.

Shelton is the first Black American man in a US Open final since Arthur Ashe in 1972, in a stadium named after Arthur Ashe. It took 54 years for the building to see someone it was named for. The Lions have been waiting since 1957, and they don't even have a building named after anybody.

Thieves robbed the Louvre in eight minutes with a furniture lift and power tools, in daylight, during opening hours. The most French thing about it is that security was on strike about it before it happened.